


Camisado

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, And Doesn't Act Blind, And Karkat Is A Short Cupcake, As Always Dave Is A Super Tall, Character Death, Depression, Eventual Happy Ending?, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Karkat Is An Artist, Less-Than-Implied Child Abuse, M/M, Relapsing, Sadstuck, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, Terezi Has Synesthesia, Trans Male Character, maybe? - Freeform, non-binary characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-03-31 01:48:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 17,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3959827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Can't take the kid from the fight<br/>Take the fight from the kid</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER: I am not, in any way, writing this to romanticize abuse, depression, or self-harm, nor am I using these things as "quirks" or "personality traits." If I write any of these things in an unrealistic or offensive manner, please tell me so I can change that. I am using them in this story to fit what I am calling the prompt - the song Camisado by Panic! at the Disco. 
> 
> I don't own any of the characters of Homestuck, nor do I own Homestuck.

“Look, I…” he took a deep breath, tears welling in his eyes. “I don’t fucking know, okay? I can’t be sure if you’re going to be okay, and everything I have left in me is begging for you to wake up, but everything I have left is trying to convince me you won’t and I don’t know what to think and I just…” he trailed off, tears streaming down his face. “I can’t keep doing this though. As much as it will hurt not to see you - even if that’s all I can do - every day, I need to get back.” He laid his head gently on the unmoving body of the person he was talking to before finishing, eyes moving from I.V. to heart rate monitor to the face of his unconscious lover.

“I just wish I could have told you more often…”

He sniffled, wiping his nose on his sleeve.

“I just wish I could have told you more often how much I love you.”


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave noticed something was wrong the day he beat his Bro at a strife.

Dave noticed something was wrong the day he beat his Bro at a strife.

A tall, lanky nine-year-old, Dave had never gotten out of one of the Strider Rooftop Swordfights with anything less than a scratch. His dark skin was covered in lighter scars that never healed quite right, all from his Bro’s sharp blade. His older Bro, who Dave could only assume was his legal guardian, rarely gained a marking on his own integument from the clashes.

The Bro Dave knew didn’t care how young Dave was, he wanted the kid to know how to fight. Every second of his free time was spent training or strifing, and he often arrived at school tired and sore. The Bro Dave knew never let Dave win, no matter what. The Bro Dave knew had limitless strength and energy, and was an unconquerable challenge.

So the day Dave dragged himself up to the top of their apartment building, ready to try and fail, and saw his Bro in a position that seemed even more exhausted than Dave’s own, he was a bit confused. But he ignored his wondering, and fought his Bro with every bit of his own strength.

Only after Dave had landed multiple blows on the older Strider did he begin to worry. Bro’s movements were delayed and miscalculated, and after only a few minutes, the man with dyed-orange hair gave in to the befuddled child.

Dave immediately threw down his sword, running back to the apartment. Forgetting that his Bro was still on the rooftop, likely injured, he hid in his room. For hours he stayed there, terrified, his breathing ragged long after he stopped moving.

The next day, Dave put his mask back on, going to school as if nothing had happened. He had spent the better part of four years perfecting his facade, and was known throughout his third-grade class for being the cool, near-emotionless kid. Although he was only nine, he knew that his popularity would be a good thing in a few years, assuming he could keep it.

That evening, however, when he was home and no longer hiding behind his mirror shades, the previous day’s events came rushing back to him. For his own sake more than anybody else’s, he convinced himself that everything was okay, and that Bro would come home and he would have to fight him again.

It was hours before the sound of the apartment door opening startled Dave out of his stunned haze, and he rushed out of his small room to see his caretaker entering their home. For a split second, he was relieved. But then he realized the state of the man - the once-confident redhead was dragging his feet, his back stooped. His once-unmarked skin was covered in scrapes, gashes, and bruises, transforming the even brown color into a patchwork of purples and blacks.

The second the new wounds registered in Dave’s mind, he ran back to his room, terrified. As he fled, the thump of his Bro collapsing on the living room floor barely registered in his mind.

Although he hadn’t eaten since lunch, Dave didn’t leave his room until morning. Around seven-thirty, he dragged himself out the door to get ready for school, and went so far as to eat breakfast and gather his bag to leave before he noticed the huge lump on the living room floor.

It took Dave about half a second to realize that The Lump was his Bro, lying in the same spot he had been in the previous night. Cautiously, the younger Strider approached his guardian. “Bro?” he asked, struggling to keep his voice even. Red backpack bumping against his back, he stepped closer to the still form of his only family.

“Bro?” he repeated, slowly reaching out towards him. The man’s pointy sunglasses were lying forgotten next to his face. Just before Dave’s fingers made contact with his Bro’s skin, he reached out and grabbed the shades instead, slipping them into his pocket.

Dave stood up, biting his lip. It was time for him to leave; he should have been out the door five minutes ago. After a moment of thought, he ran out the door, sure he would get home to see his Bro angrily searching for his beloved shades.

Dave spent the day staring at his Bro’s shades, nearly getting them confiscated twice. He was distracted from the moment he stepped into the classroom, and his teacher pulled him aside towards the end of the day, asking if he was okay.

Dave easily lied to the teacher, leaving school with a mask of cheerfulness that couldn’t fool the one person it really had to - himself.

The mask quickly fell away the moment Dave reached his floor and saw a horde of police officers in front of his door. He very nearly ran away, but one of the officers noticed him and approached him with a sympathetic smile. He recognized her as Miss Crocker, a friendly lady who lived a few floors down and always baked for him on his birthday.

“Hello, David,” she greeted him. She was the only person who called him that, and he’d never admit to her that he hated it.

Although he was only nine, Dave was already taller than her. “Hey, Miss Crocker,” he replied, adopting his trademark air of carelessness. “Why are y’all here?” Miss Crocker’s face fell, and she looked back at the door marked 122. “It’s D- Your Bro. He… David, has he been acting… weird?”

He couldn’t tell if it was the fact that she asked so kindly, or if it was because she always seemed to care about him, but Miss Crocker’s words cracked Dave’s mask. Before he knew what was happening, he was blinking back tears behind his shades. “Mm-hmm,” he whimpered, voice cracking. “He’s been really tired, and I actually beat him at a strife the other day, and he slept on the floor last night, and-”

“David,” Miss Crocker interrupted him, placing her warm hand on his shoulder. “Your Bro wasn’t asleep.”

“What?” Dave asked, her words not quite registering.

“Well, at first, he was passed out. That probably happened around eight o’clock last night. A few hours later…” She took a deep breath. “Dave, there’s no easy way for me to tell you this. At around twelve thirty this morning, your Bro died.”

Dave sunk to his knees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so this is planned to be a Super Long Fic and summer's about to start so I'll update often if not reglarly.
> 
> There is one thing in particular I ask of you. If you plan to keep up with this, PLEASE comment whether you want a happy ending or a sad one because I have both planned out and I don't know if I want to post one or both. How this ends is up to anyone who comments so if you really care then tell me.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I hope the rest of it is good too!


	3. Chapter 2

Dave Strider was nine years old when everything he knew fell apart. It was a seemingly irrelevant day when his Bro passed out on the apartment floor and never woke up, but it was a day that passed through his memory any time he couldn’t think of anything else to cover it.

Get over it, he constantly told himself. You’re a different person than the one who cried for hours that his Bro was dead. You didn’t know the fucker’s name. When he was really desperate, he reminded himself that the entirety of his relationship with Bro was abusive and that he had lost years of his childhood to fights that easily could have killed him.

But Bro had been his family, and his only family at that. In the seven years since that day, Dave had been through countless foster families and six different states. It was simple - nobody wanted him. He was a detached shell of a teenager, and he couldn’t stop getting into fights.

Therapists told him time and time again that he didn’t need to use violence to get his anger out. It never worked, and he never corrected them. It wasn’t anger he was trying to get out. Fighting was the only way Dave could remember his earlier years, the only way he could remember what it was like to have Bro around.

It was hard to describe Dave’s social life. It was equal parts successful and dysfunctional, for he was popular at every school he went to, but had friends at only a few. People “liked” him because he was intimidating (And attractive, one of the three real friends he managed to make had insisted. Dave disagreed; he didn’t know how anyone could find his scarred skin pretty.).

But Dave didn’t like the people, because they were too happy. They didn’t know what it was like to have your idea of what the world was taken away. He didn’t quite hate them for having stable lives, but it certainly pissed him off that nobody who had a worse life than him let it show.

Even the few friends he did make weren’t for long. He just didn’t stay in any one place long enough to keep them. They tried to keep in touch, but Dave never found the time or motivation to talk to them again.

By twelve Dave had given up on ever being wanted again. Every family who fostered him insisted that he was great, but after years of perfecting a facade, he could see through anybody’s. They all had the same empty arguments, and Dave despised every word of them.

At sixteen, Dave was almost as tall as his Bro had been, and had the same muscular yet agile build. Unlike his childhood idol, however, his skin was uneven, the scars from his past not quite faded. There were newer scars, too, ones that he had gotten from the fights he never stopped picking and ones that were more deliberate.

The one thing he did like about himself was that nobody ever knew if he hurt himself. He was the only person who could get away with it because his body was already so imperfect nobody could tell if there were new marks.

But the fact that he was so broken just made him hate himself more, the fact that he had to keep up the same boring personality he forged for himself all those years ago just made him care less about living.

So time and time again, he took out his self-loathing on any unfortunate bystander, and got himself into more trouble than he was worth.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“David,” the social worker said, snapping her fingers, in an attempt to get Dave’s attention.

“Dave,” he corrected her, not looking away from an abstract painting hanging in the corner of the beige-painted room.

“Dave,” she repeated. “I know things have never been easy for you, especially since you entered this system-”

She was cut off by the teenage boy scoffing. After taking a deep breath and moving her (clearly dyed) blonde hair out of her face, she continued. “We know you don’t love the way your life is. We’re just trying to help you grow up to be somebody who uses all the potential you have. That’s what we’ve been doing ever since...” She trailed off, assuming that his Bro was a sore subject for Dave. She wasn’t exactly wrong, but he hated when people deliberately avoided the topic more than when they brought it up.

Dave rolled his eyes, adding his own commentary. “But now you realize I don’t have any so you’re just bullshitting it until you can get rid of me and let me get myself thrown into jail. I know how you feel about me. I don’t care. I agree, actually. I know that I’m useless and nobody likes me and-”

He stopped when he finally looked over at the social worker to see her practically in tears. “That…” she whimpered. “Oh, Dave, you don’t really think that about yourself do you?”

Dave crossed his arms, one thin eyebrow arching over his ever-present shades. “Try me. Take a good, hard look at me and say that I actually value my own sorry ass. You can’t do it, can you? Because it would be too big of a lie, even for you and your ‘system’.”

The social worker sat in silence before sliding a thin folder across the table to him. Dave stood up and took the folder, walking out of the room without breaking his poker face.

When Dave reached the lobby of the large building, a cheerful couple stood up. They looked more bland than Dave’s fake personality, and Dave immediately knew that he was going to be stuck living with them for a while.

Sure enough, the woman happily greeted him. “Hello!” she said. “Are you Dave?”

Dave nodded, and she beamed. “Well, Dave, I’m Mrs. Bonner, but you can call me Mom, since that’s what I’ll be for as long as you need me!”

Dave forced a small smile onto his face, reconsidering his first impression of the woman. She wasn’t boring, she was worse than boring. She was the sort of person who forgot that she was fostering a sixteen-year-old kid who was, in short, depressed. He’d only been with one family that was worse, and that one had been way too overprotective.

“Thanks, Mrs. Bonner,” he said, “But I don’t call anyone ‘Mom’. See, that’s a title reserved for somebody who died and I’d rather not use it on just anyone.” Her face fell, but Dave didn’t care. He didn’t want her pity, and if she was still willing to give it to him that was her fault.

Mrs. Bonner suddenly had less of a happy air around her; it wasn’t a drastic change and her face barely showed it, but Dave could tell. She stood in front of Dave, unmoving, for a minute before her husband stepped up next to her.

“Well, Dave,” he spoke up. “We can respect that, and we’re sorry you had to go through that.” He, too, wore a bright smile, though his seemed a bit more understanding than his wife’s. “I guess you probably won’t think of me as your dad either, at least not at first, so you can call me Damian.”

Dave nodded, almost actually smiling at Damian. Mrs. Bonner quickly pulled herself together, and a minute later they were walking out to the couple’s car.

Of course, it was a minivan, with at least twenty bumper stickers and magnets and even one of those stick figure families on the back. Dave immediately hated it, even though he did find out from it that there were two other kids in the family.

As they drove, Dave tried to ignore the chatter of the Bonners, but they kept saying things specifically to him and asking him questions. He answered everything very vaguely and tried to let the couple know he wasn’t interested in conversation, but he couldn’t find a way to do that without breaking their hearts.

Luckily, the drive only took about twenty minutes, and it wasn’t long before the hideous car was pulling into the garage of a large suburban home. Damian offered to bring Dave inside and give him a tour, a proposition to which he reluctantly agreed.

The two walked into the front hall, which was admittedly quite nice. Damian began to show Dave around, and the teenager decided to pay attention, more so that he wouldn’t get lost than actually caring about the layout of their house. The interior decorating wasn’t bad, but it was nothing to blog about, at least in Dave’s opinion.

When they reached the upstairs and Damian showed Dave his room, Dave immediately walked in and sat down on the bed. The whole room was blue and green, entirely the wrong colors, but Dave was planning to fix that on his own.

Damian stared at Dave for a moment before realizing that the teen wasn’t going to move. “Hey, uh, Dave,” he said. “You’ll have a few days to get used to this place before you have to go to school or really do anything, but… Listen, I know you’re not a really happy person and you have reason not to be, but try to be at least not be rude around Lorie. She’s really trying to be a good foster mom.”

Dave exhaled, hoping that was enough to convey that he’d try, even if promising to do so might be a lie.

As he laid back and pulled out his phone, he decided there was next to nothing that could make him interested in staying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you didn't catch last chapter's note, there are 2 possible outcomes of this story and if you have a preference of happy or sad then comment because as of posting this the comments I've already gotten have had kind of a unanimous opinion for happy (I can't argue, my favorite tag ever is Eventual Happy Ending)
> 
> All feedback is appreciated!


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What can I help you with, dear?” Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades before giving the lady behind the front office desk a polite smile.

“What can I help you with, dear?” Dave rolled his eyes behind his shades before giving the lady behind the front office desk a polite smile. “I’m new, I’m Dave,” he explained, and the woman, whose name tag said Stephanie, nodded in understanding. “Yes, I’ve got your schedule right here,” she said brightly, handing him a folder full of paper.

He gave her a nod, taking the folder to turn and leave, when a short, bespectacled boy ran into the office. “Sorry, Ms. Nagel, my bus was late and-” he began to speak animatedly, but stopped when he saw Dave. “Is this Dave?” he asked, his excuse forgotten.

Stephanie, who seemed to be Ms. Nagel, nodded. “Yes, that’s right, John,” she replied to the boy, who had a medium brown skin tone and black, slightly disheveled hair. Turning to Dave, she continued. “Dave, this is John. He’s here to help you out with anything you need - from finding your classes to helping you make friends.”

Dave almost told her he didn’t need any Instant Friend Service, that he would fit right in with the crowds of teenagers, but held back at the last moment, just giving John a tense smile and nodding at Ms. Nagel. “Alright, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said. When neither of the cheerier people said anything, he turned to leave the office, realizing quickly that John was following him.

Once they were out of sight of the entrance area of the building, following the ever-growing trickle of students towards the back of the school, John began to try talking to Dave. “So, where’d you move from?” the brunet asked in an attempt to spark conversation.

“Houston,” Dave replied, even though it had been a long time since he lived in Houston or even Texas. Before John could say anything else, Dave put his headphones on, turning his music up so that he couldn’t hear anything John would have tried to tell him.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

The first half of the day dragged on, with Dave following his schedule easily. Just as he had expected, he was instantly offered the friendships of many students, most of whom seemed to have a significant place on the school’s social hierarchy.

Dave pretended he was interested in socializing with the jock types, which got him the attention of some of the girls in the same group. He didn’t hesitate to turn them down, using excuses along the lines of ‘I don’t know you well enough’ and ‘I just moved here, I need to get accustomed to living here before I date anyone,’ not to mention ‘I’m not sure you’re quite my type’.

None of his excuses were flat out lies for once, especially the second one, but Dave wasn’t going to let anyone know this early on that he wasn’t the sort of person anyone would actually want to associate with.

Finally, the time for lunch came. Dave didn’t plan to spend it with anyone; he was incredibly tired of interacting with people who thought he was Super Cool after having a week off between schools and families. But the popular kids who had been boring him all day seemed to expect him to eat with them too.

Dave cared more about his reputation than getting time to sulk, so he sat with them, ignoring their chatter. They seemed to think his aloof attitude was okay, and at least had enough sense not to disturb him while he had headphones on.

It was the perfect time for him to get an idea of who else attended the school, an opportunity he took. While everyone else sat, talking and eating, he slowly looked around the jam-packed cafeteria. Everyone looked just as boring as the group he was stuck with, or even more so.

One group did catch his attention after a few minutes of staring from behind his shades. There had to be fifteen kids, all sitting at one large, circular table. It was by far a more diverse group than any other he could see, and he could see that they were genuinely enjoying themselves, not just giggling uncontrollably or pretending to have fun.

A lone memory from Dave’s early life floated to the top of his mind, a happy one. He remembered when he had friends, real ones, that he liked being around, and he didn’t have to have a mask on around. Even they never knew about his Bro, but he didn’t pretend to not care around them. A pang of sadness shot through him, the most emotion he had felt in a long time.

It took all of Dave’s willpower not to get up and leave, but he stayed where he was, none of his emotion showing on his face. He stopped looking around, staring at the table for the remainder of lunch.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

After lunch, three more uneventful periods passed. This school covered standards in a different order than his old one, so he didn’t worry about paying attention since he had already learned everything that was being taught. Instead of doing any of the work, he drew in a notebook the whole time.

He was finally walking to eighth period, ready to get out of the school. He was counting on this class, AP Biology, being just as uneventful as every other class. When he got into the classroom, the teacher immediately pointed him to an empty seat, at a lab table in the far corner of the room.

There was only one other person at the table, a boy with incredibly messy, dark hair that looked almost like a bird’s nest. Nest Hair’s head was lying on the table, facing away from Dave’s seat, and he was scribbling in what looked like a sketchbook.

Soon after Dave sat down, a Hispanic girl whose hair had a better dye job than Dave’s own (it was bright red and Dave was tempted to ask what brand she used because damn that was some well-dyed hair) walked in and put her books down next to Nest Hair. She had shades, too, though hers were longer than Dave’s, sort of pointy, and matched her hair. She seemed more obsessed with red than Dave, though the shade she favored was much brighter than the one Dave filled his life with.

Red looked straight at Dave, cocked her head a bit, then asked in a high, scratchy voice, “Who are you?”

“Dave,” the blond replied without batting an eye.

“You smell nice,” Red said as she sat down. “Like apples. I’m Terezi. And don’t ask about why I smell you.”

Dave stared at her for a moment. “Well I’m definitely going to ask why you fucking smelled me, Terezi,” he said.

The redhead sighed before answering. “I have synesthesia. So basically all my senses are fucked up and I can taste colors and shit. But also I’m blind. So I really have to smell and taste colors.”

“Cool,” Dave said, and the bell rang. As the loud noise rang out, a familiar raven-haired boy ran into the room and took the last seat next to Dave.

Oh, great.

“Hey, John,” Terezi said, opening her notebook and taking out a red crayon. “Hey, Terezi!” John replied. “Hey Karkat!”

Nest Hair - well, Karkat - picked his head up and stared silently at John for a minute before nodding at the blue-eye boy.

“Who’s that and why is he here?” Karkat asked, and Dave looked up at him. Karkat was staring at him with sharp grey eyes, framed by more of his messy hair. He had a really cute nose that was covered in freckles and Dave wanted to slap himself for thinking anyone was attractive. Then slap himself again for being so damn gay. Then once because he was a fucking idiot and deserved it. Then one last time for good measure.

But he kept up his facade and stared right back at Karkat. “I’m Dave and I’m here because I’m supposed to be.”

Karkat closed his sketchbook quickly but gently, not looking away. “Okay,” he finally said. He turned to look at the teacher, and Terezi and John followed. Dave ignored her, looking down at his own notebook and finding where he had left off drawing his shitty comic.

The rest of the period was almost as uneventful as the rest of the day, but Terezi actually seemed pretty cool and she kept passing him notes about the other kids in the class. Dave decided he would be able to stand her, though there was no chance he’d really make friends with anyone.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

After school, Dave didn’t go straight back to the Bonners’ house. He walked to a hardware store he’d passed on his way to school, and bought about six cans of red paint and a paintbrush, effectively using up the money supply he still had from his last family. He wasn’t worried, though, the Bonners seemed pretty rich, and he was sure they’d be easy to suck up to.

After he got back to the house, somehow bringing his stash up to his room without being noticed by anyone, he threw his stuff on his bed and hid the paint supplies in his closet. Room renovation was a project for another day, but hell if he wasn’t going to get new decorations ordered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was thinking about how the chapter numbers are one off because I had that prologue. Haha sorry.
> 
> Am I the only person who thinks gray and grey are totally different colors? Like gray is this terrible dreary color but grey is elegant and calming
> 
> Anyway, as usual thanks for reading and comment which ending you want(happy or sad)!
> 
> Also what should I call the school


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi was standing a few feet away from him, a bright red envelope in her hand. “You’re coming,” she said, handing it to him.

As the week dragged on, Dave quickly got accustomed to his classes, as well as being talked to by the boring popular kids. He found that Terezi, John, and Karkat were all part of what he had decided to call the Interesting Group. He wasn’t sure how he’d been able to miss Terezi’s blindingly bright hair and wardrobe when he was staring at said group, but he had. Then again, apparently he had also missed it in both European History and Algebra III.

To his relief, he only had the one class with John. The excitable kid wasn’t terrible company, but he was a bit (see: a lot) too cheerful for Dave to hang out with.

Dave did approximately negative four classwork over the course of his first week, and every day went slower than the last. The Bonners consistently asked about how he was, and lying through his teeth to them wasn’t hard. They believed anything, and were terrible at raising teenagers. They weren’t bad parents, but they really needed to figure out how to keep that true when their actual kids, who they’d have for more than a few months, got older.

The one thing he was surprised by was that he hadn’t gotten into a single fight all week. In fact, he hadn’t even come close. It usually only took a few days for him to get pissed at someone, but he wasn’t just going to kick anyone.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Nothing remotely interesting happened until after school on Friday, when he found himself shoved against the wall of one of the buildings on his way home. “What the shit?” he shouted, instinctively raising his hands to an attacking position.

“Chill, coolkid,” a voice said, and he knew who it was before he actually saw her.

Terezi was standing a few feet away from him, a bright red envelope in her hand. “You’re coming,” she said, handing it to him. “Coming to what?” Dave asked, ripping the paper. The card inside was her signature shade of teal, with neat writing in the same bright red.

Terezi stared pointedly at the card, which Dave read. It advertised a party she was apparently throwing, which Dave had no interest in. “I’m not going,” he told her, shoving the paper into his pocket.

“Yes, you are. It’s not an option. See, I may not be incredibly popular, but everyone knows that my parties are the shit. I mean, you could skip, but you’d have no social life,” the redhead replied. It was small, but Dave still noticed that it ticked off his anxiety. Shit, he wasn’t getting out of this.

“Fine, maybe,” he said, then left. He felt like she would follow him, but he didn’t really care anymore.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Dave stood at the door to a huge, ornate house, which apparently belonged to Terezi. He really hadn’t wanted to come, but couldn’t think of an excuse.

Before he could knock on the door, it flew open to reveal the hostess. “Oh, so you do want to have a life!” she greeted him. “Eh,” he replied. “I guess I was just a little curious what this ‘great party’ really was. I wanted to see that it was really just two people.”

Terezi shrugged. “Well, you’re a little late, so everyone’s already here. Come in, I’ll prove you wrong.” She grinned at him, and he wondered if she was really blind.

He followed her into the foyer, which was devoid of people. There were a shit-ton of coats in piles, so he supposed there might be a few people, but when they walked into a huge, open-concept kitchen/bar/living room-type area, he was certainly surprised. The entire area was packed with people, and when he looked through a doorway all he saw was more teenagers. He even thought he saw the popular kids who had been onto him all week.

“Okay, maybe you are well-known,” he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. Terezi gave him an ‘I told you so’ smile. “Oh yeah, since I know I’m the closest thing you have to a friend, you get to go upstairs if you want, and around…” She looked down at her phone, like she was checking the time. “Around eleven, go upstairs for Actual Friend Party.”

Dave was about to ask what that was, but she disappeared into the crowd. He sighed, then looked around. He didn’t really know anyone else, and those he did, he wasn’t particularly fond of. He felt a bit claustrophobic, even though he was usually more comfortable around people than alone.

Weaving through the crowd, Dave tried to find a less densely populated area of the house. The only rooms that weren’t absolutely packed were the bathrooms, but hiding in one was probably a terrible idea. Remembering what Terezi had said about being allowed upstairs, he began searching for the stairs. It took him a while, but he eventually found his way through the labyrinthine first floor.

When he got to the stairs, he saw someone who looked exactly like a slightly taller, older version of Terezi, but with square glasses and a lot less red. She still wore hints of the color, but it was mostly drowned out by black and teal.

When Dave tried to walk past her, she held out a gloved hand to stop him. He stared at her, and she stared back. Well, he assumed she was looking at him. “What?” he finally asked.

“Who are you?” Terezi Sr. asked. “I’m Dave, but sorry. I’m not interested in your type,” he replied. Terezi Sr. gave him the same grin as Terezi. “That’s cute, but I’m border patrol.” She lowered her hand. “You can go, I’m just here to make sure no idiots go up to fuck.”

Dave shrugged, walking up one step. “Good strategy,” he said. “TZ’s paying me,” Terezi Sr. added. “Not that I need it, but I may as well get something out of this.”

Dave nodded before continuing up the stairs. He was met with an equally large second floor, the hall lined with closed doors. He opened them, finding a lot of bedrooms and study-looking rooms. It was only ten thirty, so he ducked into one room, sitting down in a corner with his headphones covering his ears.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Okay, so what are we doing up here?”

Dave heard a rough voice from the hall, loud enough to be heard over his music, and realized it was time for the ‘Actual Friend Party.’ He stood, following the voice out to see Karkat and Terezi walking down the hall towards a slightly open door.

He walked behind them, wondering if the two were a couple. It would figure that the person he had thought was attractive - not dateable, necessarily, but aesthetically pleasing - was straight.

When he opened the door the two had walked into, he saw The Interesting Group, in its entirety, sitting around in what could easily be a master bedroom. He was pretty sure it wasn’t a master bedroom, though, because it was covered in bright red with teal accents. Terezi’s room, most likely.

“Coolkid!” Terezi exclaimed when she saw - well, if she was telling the truth, smelled - Dave. “Coolkid?” he asked calmly. “Well that’s what I call you, so yes, Coolkid,” the redhead replied. “And that’s everyone so now the real fun can begin.”

Dave wasn’t sure he really wanted to know what ‘the real fun’ was, especially since it was Terezi’s plan, but he was almost certain he didn’t have a choice but to find out.

Looking around with his trademark blank expression, he saw that a lot of other kids seemed unsure. So I’m not totally alone in this, he assured himself.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Much to every teen’s relief, five minutes later it had been established that ‘the real fun’ was chicken nuggets and truth or dare, which seemed innocent enough compared to everyone’s  expectations that nobody complained. Dave was secretly terrified throughout the entire game that somebody would ask him something - he had no idea what - that ended up with him breaking the character he had carefully built.

More than once over the course of the two-hour game, Dave went into the bathroom with the excuse of having drunk way too much water before coming to Terezi’s.

It was one am, and Dave was staring at himself in the mirror, shades finally gone from his eyes. Despite the dark natural shade of his skin, he had a slight tan line where they constantly sat. He stared at the ruby-red pupils, trying to reassure himself that he’d worked hard enough on his damn facade he could keep it up.

In an attempt to calm himself down, he splashed water on his face, letting it drip down onto the counter.

He lost track of how long he’d been hiding in the bathroom, though, and after ten minutes he was so lost in his own reflection, picking out the imperfections and flaws, that he didn’t even notice when the door opened and a short figure stepped into the huge, open bathroom.

The other person stood, unnoticed, staring at Dave for a minute. After a minute, Dave felt eyes on him, and spun around to see Karkat staring at him, his resting look of discontent replaced by honest anger.

Dave instinctively flipped his shades back down and shook his sleeves out, but Karkat had already seen him, and seemed to have a personal beef with the fact that Dave’s skin was 75% scars, or, more likely, the fact that his eyes were unnaturally red.

Karkat, despite his lack of height, cleared the space between the two boys in just a few strides.

“What the actual fuck were you thinking doing this shit you fucking idiot?!” the loud boy shouted. “You get to actually fucking look good and you go and ruin that with stupid-ass blades and bruises and you think it’s just a-o-fucking-kay?” Dave opened his mouth, ready to spew out some excuse about being a clumsy child, but was cut off by Karkat’s fist colliding with his face.

It was the first time anyone had caught Dave off-guard since Bro, and he didn’t know how to react. Instead of responding to the brunet, he stepped back until he was standing against the marble counter, sliding down to a seated position.

He saw the regret on Karkat’s face before his eyes began welling with tears he couldn’t quite hold back. “Shit,” the rough voice said, barely a whisper. “Shit, I’m sorry,” it continued. “Fuck, oh my god, dammit, what did I do?”

The voice went silent, and the next thing Dave heard was the sound of a door opening and closing.

Nobody else came into the room, but Dave didn’t really notice. He tried to control his breathing, but it wouldn’t stop coming out ragged. At some point, he stopped crying and drifted off, his mask permanently scarred with a hairline fracture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Am I doing a good job keeping Dave in character? I feel like I'm giving him too much emotion for how I'm characterizing him but in canon he's actually a very emotional person even though he hides it so like. I don't know.
> 
> Anyway, as always thanks for reading and remember to comment which ending you want!


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “What gives, coolkid?” Terezi asked, sliding into the seat across from Dave.

Dave only had two classes with Karkat, and only sat remotely near him in one, but the tension radiating from the shorter teen filled the air with a heavy thickness neither wanted to acknowledge.

Dave almost wanted to just tell Karkat that he didn’t care, that everything was fine, but he knew it wouldn’t be enough to convince him that the incident was forgotten. But first-period health trickled by while he was debating whether to confront Karkat about it, and then he was sitting in art staring across the room at the hair that he had determined was always that messy.

His next period was history, and that was spent with slightly less silent contemplation and slightly more scribbling bad comics to crumple up and throw at Terezi. The thoughts weren’t totally abandoned, though, and returned in full force during fourth period literature. Dave had already read Huck Finn more times than he could count on one hand, and his teacher for that class was painfully inattentive, so he stared at one of the off-white walls the whole period.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````Dave was particularly silent at lunch, and his more popular acquaintances could tell. He was blatantly ignoring them for once, and he was pretty sure they weren’t happy about it. He felt like he might not have done a very good job keeping them interested in associating with him, and he wanted to care, but he couldn’t.

It got to the point where he almost got up to go sit in some empty classroom to avoid their questions. But he knew Terezi would notice and didn’t want to deal with her trying to get him to talk. If he had to talk to someone, he would want it to be Karkat - if he couldn’t get the other boy to believe he was really as careless as he tried to appear, he could at least tell him to pretend everything was fine.

But Dave stayed in his seat for the rest of the lunch period, returning to the consideration of how to achieve his initial goal in conversation with Karkat.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“What gives, coolkid?” Terezi asked, sliding into the seat across from Dave. He looked up, confused. She didn’t sit anywhere near him in algebra, and the blonde girl who did sit across from him probably wouldn’t appreciate her seat being occupied.

“What do you mean?” he asked coolly, mask slipping back into place. Dave may not have noticed its crack, but Terezi certainly wasn’t going to ignore it.

“I mean, why have you been all pensieve? It’s not a terrific look on you, and besides. I can literally taste the contemplation rolling off of you. You and Karkat both. He’s just stressed and full of regret. So let me ask again. What gives?”

Again, Dave shrugged. “I dunno, but I’m fine. As for Shouty Muffin… He’s probably just on some sort of hypothetical man-period, since society seems to feel the need to have a masculine variant of everything that’s inherently better.”

“That was deep,” Terezi said, then realization flashed on her face. “Wait, do you like Karkat? Oh my god, what did he walk in on you doing?”

Dave was honestly somewhat relieved. Terezi could read him too well but she also couldn’t read him well enough to actually figure anything important out.

“I was literally just staring at myself in the mirror,” Dave said. “He didn’t walk in on anything.” Terezi laughed. “Sure, coolkid,” she said, standing up. “Tell me if you need relationship advice. I dated him in middle school. Though I’m not sure if he’s actually bi or pan. I think he’s probably just gay. Don’t tell him I told you he’s not straight, though.”

Dave was about to tell her not to out people without their consent, but she had already walked to the other side of the room, where her seat actually was.

The girl who actually sat across from Dave was standing behind her now-empty chair, staring at it with a confused expression. She was probably a cheerleader, Dave wasn’t sure and it didn’t matter to him. “You probably weren’t supposed to hear that either,” Dave said, knowing that this girl wouldn’t be able to see through his mask.

He spent another period thinking about how to get rid of the attention he knew Karkat would be paying him. He felt like nothing would work quite well enough, like Karkat had some deep-seeded reason to be mad at Dave. The one thing he did know was that Terezi was absolutely right and he hated that he was so obvious to anyone who showed real interest in him.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Sixth and seventh periods were like filler chapters in the story of Dave’s life, spent hoping he wouldn’t have to deal with Terezi and Karkat later. He had stopped dwelling on how to convince Karkat he was okay, instead trying to figure out why he had been so bothered.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

By eighth period, Dave finally felt like he was ready to confront Karkat, having decided to find out what was so wrong about him staring at his hideous scars while alone in the bathroom.

But when he got to the science lab, Karkat’s seat was empty. Dave just figured he was running late, but after sitting down and waiting a minute, he realized he probably wasn’t coming.

Dave looked down to see a folded piece of paper on his desk. Opening it, Dave saw what looked like an apology card, but instead of having words of condolence it just said ‘SORRY’ at the top in messy grey writing. The rest of the page was taken up by a drawing of some bird of prey in a dramatic pose, sketched in what looked like red pen.

Dave stared at the page for a minute before carefully folding it and putting it in his pocket. It was certainly cool, and Dave hadn’t known Karkat could draw.

John sat down a moment later, knowing by now that Dave wouldn’t reply to anything he said. Luckily, he didn’t seem to notice Karkat’s absence, or Dave’s slight awkwardness. He and Terezi began talking, Dave didn’t know or care what about.

By the end of the period, Dave was a little bit annoyed with Karkat for being gone. He had forgotten what he planned on saying, though not the general idea, but now he didn’t have a chance to say anything until tomorrow.

After school, Terezi asked him where Karkat was, to which he responded with a shrug. She followed him for a few blocks, trying to get him to talk, but he kept up his act. He knew she could see through it, just barely, and he hated that he’d let his guard down enough to let someone in, even if it wasn’t very much.

When Dave got home, the comforter he had ordered was sitting on his bed, which had been stripped. He made a mental note to thank Mrs. Bonner; even if he wasn’t crazy about interacting with her very often, she was genuinely kind.

By 10:00, the medium-sized room was almost completely repainted and the ground was mostly redecorated. Dave had done a pretty good job of not getting paint on the floor, with only a few spots of red on the ground. They looked a bit like blood, he thought, but these splatters would stay the same medium shade forever, instead of darkening as they dried.

When he finished smoothing the paint onto the walls, Dave laid down on his bed, taking off his shades. So as not to suffocate himself, he had already opened the window, and was letting the slight breeze cool him down after working for hours.

He had just begun to doze off when he glanced sleepily out the window to see a shape sitting in the window’s frame.

“Get up, coolkid, we’ve got shit to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> k so who wants to do fanart
> 
> please someone do fanart of this story i'll love you forever
> 
> i can draw what my human versions of them look like for you
> 
> somebody just do fanart of this
> 
> thank
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and don't forget to comment on the ending, especially if you do want the sad one b/c everyone so far has said happy


	7. Chapter 6

Dave scrambled backwards, messily shoving his shades back onto his face. “Literally what the fuck, TZ,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. He knew she could tell she’d startled him, it was glaringly obvious, but he wasn’t going to let her get used to seeing him with his guard down.

“We’ve got shit to do, coolkid,” she repeated. “Do you need me to write that down?”

Dave shook his head. “Okay, one, what could we possibly need to do at fucking three am, and two, why don’t you get somebody else to do it?”

Terezi stared at him for a minute before saying, “It’s only like 11:30.” Dave glared at her. After a minute, she swung her other leg into the room and walked over to him. He noticed that the widow screen was cut in half and was waving in the breeze. “Come on,” she insisted, grabbing his wrist and pulling on it.

Dave tensed up, pulling his hand away. She crossed her arms. “Come on, I need to bring you somewhere.” Dave shook his head, sitting up on the comforter. “Where? Find someone else.”

Terezi sighed. “I can’t bring someone else,” she said. “Just come with me and if it sucks I’ll take you home.” Reluctantly, Dave stood up. “Fine, but only because I know you won’t leave if I don’t agree.”

The redhead grinned and ducked back out of the window, her head slowly descending from the frame. Dave stuck his head out to see that she was climbing down a ladder.

“You… You brought a fucking ladder,” he said, more of a statement than a question. Terezi nodded as she reached the ground. “Yeah, and I had to cut the screen. You should just take that out.”

“I noticed,” Dave replied, stepping onto the ladder. A minute later he was standing next to her while she collapsed the ladder. He followed her to a car that was - surprise, surprise - bright red, and watched as she tossed the folded ladder into the back then climbed into the front seat.

“Wait, so you’re not blind?” Dave asked, realizing she was planning to drive. The suggestion got a cackley laugh from Terezi. “No, I am, but the government doesn’t know that so I’m legally allowed to drive.”

Dave stared at her, unsure he wanted to get in the car. But he realized she would make him get in even if it were his worst fear, so he stepped into the car and sat down on the plush teal seat.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“And… What’s so cool about this apartment building?” Dave asked, staring up at the tall building and trying not to let it remind him of where he lived as a child.

“Nothing’s really great about the building, but somebody cool lives here, so you’re going to talk to them,” Terezi said, walking along the side of it. “There’s the window,” she announced, probably just to herself. As Dave watched, she extended the ladder and leaned it against the building.

“You wanna go first?” she asked, standing aside. “Not at all,” Dave replied, stepping up onto the first rung. “But I’m going to anyway.” Terezi seemed excited at his actions, and watched with a grin as he climbed up to the second-story window the ladder led to.

Once Dave was at the top, Terezi climbed up, much faster than Dave had. She pulled the window open, slipping into a bedroom that was decorated almost entirely in black, with spots of grey here and there. Dave followed her cautiously, unsure whose room it was.

He got his answer a moment later when she flopped onto the bed, which had a blanket-covered lump on it, shoving the lump. It moved, and a moment later a head popped out from under the covers. “What the fuck do you want, Terezi?” Karkat asked.

“Didn’t think your hair could get any messier than it usually is, but damn, Karkat, that’s pretty tousled,” Dave butted in, causing Karkat to look over at him with a surprised expression on his face. “You brought Stridouche?” he asked Terezi, his voice barely a whisper.

“I can hear you,” Dave said, leaning against the wall. “Nice to know you’ve got a pet name for me,” he said. Karkat stared at him, and he couldn’t help but think the shorter boy was really cute when he was disgruntled.

“Shut up, Dave,” he muttered to himself, and Karkat raised an eyebrow. “What?” Dave asked, acting like he hadn’t said anything.

“Okay,” Terezi announced. “Something happened between you two the other night and you’re gonna work it out. Call me when you’re good!”

“What?” Dave and Karkat spoke at the same time, but Terezi was already climbing down her ladder. Both boys looked out the window, watching her. When she got to the bottom, she grinned and waved before pulling the ladder away from the wall.

“What?” Dave exclaimed, reaching out for the ladder that was now out of reach. “Terezi, put that back! What the--”

He stopped when he realized she was now sitting in her car, a pair of neon headphones covering her ears. “Dammit,” he groaned. He looked over at where Karkat had been to see nothing but the colorless room. He turned around to see that the lump on the bed had reappeared.

Dave walked over and shoved the lump, more than a little annoyed with Terezi. “Hey, Karkat,” he said. He could do this, he told himself. He was going to find out what about him grinded Karkat’s gears.

“What?” Karkat replied without moving from beneath the sheets. Dave took a long, slow breath, then opened his mouth. “Why do you care?” he asked.

Karkat emerged from the covers, looking confused. “Why do I care about what?” he asked. “About this,” Dave answered, gesturing to his arms. The brunet stiffened, still looking at Dave’s face.

“I…” Karkat bit his lip, looking around. He took a deep breath before continuing. “I just really hate when people don’t see that they’re pretty, or that they’re important, or worth it, and they think the only way to matter is to force themselves to feel pain and--”

He was cut off by Dave’s hand on his shoulder. “They’re not from me,” he said. He immediately felt bad, because that was only partially true. “Most of them aren’t anyway,” he added.

Karkat looked at him questioningly. “What do you mean they’re not from you?” he asked. “I mean,” Dave answered. “That most of them aren’t self-harm scars. There… there are a few of those but at least 80% are from… Something that happened a long time ago.”

He knew as soon as he said that that he would end up telling Karkat the whole story of his Bro. He felt like he knew everything, now that he wasn’t left to wonder about what Karkat hated about him, and he didn’t even realize that he was willingly letting his guard down around somebody. If he’d noticed, he would have cared - he hated to admit that he trusted Karkat, but he did. He just didn’t trust him that much.

“Long story short, I was raised by someone who literally fought me daily, even though I was a kid, and whose name I don’t know to this day, and I went to his funeral.” Karkat looked confused, and Dave didn’t blame him. “Now, for the long story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha i totally forgot about this for like 2 days sorry
> 
> i did write this whole chapter pretty much all at once to make up for it though
> 
> oh yeah you know how i said this is gonna be a Super Long Fic
> 
> yeah i haven't forgotten about that and i also haven't forgotten how, assuming i do go with the happy ending, it's eventual
> 
> idk how long you guys have before it gets sad but brace yourselves just in case it's soon
> 
> on an unrelated note i really love the word romper
> 
> yeah but thanks for reading and don't forget to comment on your preferred ending


	8. Chapter 7

As Dave talked, Karkat was silent. At first, it was out of pure curiosity, but as Dave went on about his early life, not skipping over a single detail, the curiosity began to turn to a mix of sympathy and shock.

Neither realized that time was passing so quickly - or rather, neither realized how long Dave had been talking for - and it seemed like only minutes before the pounding of a fist on the window startled them out of the one-sided conversation.

A moment later, Terezi opened the window again. “Okay, so I think you’ve probably resolved whatever you had going on, so I’ll be taking the coolkid back now.”

Dave got up, walking over to the window without acknowledging Karkat, the realization that he had essentially spilled his soul to someone he barely knew settling with a panic. He barely managed to keep his cool as he climbed down from the second-story window and into Terezi’s car; keeping his breathing even until he got back to his house was a task he struggled with.

Only once the top of Terezi’s neon head had long since disappeared from his window, which was still open, did Dave let out the dismay that had appeared the second he shut his mouth.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Dave almost stayed home the next day; the combination of panic that hadn’t yet settled and the fact that he hadn’t gotten home until 4 am and hadn’t fallen asleep for another hour and a half didn’t make him very enthusiastic about doing anything. But he would rather not be there when the Bonners realized he’d repainted a room in their house, even if they would probably be okay with it.

He regretted the decision the moment he sat down in health. The class was one of his least favorite, since the same exact curriculum was taught year after year and most of it was outdated anyway. He nearly fell asleep more times than he could count, and completely forgot he would have to see exactly the person he’d had an accidental heart-to-heart with later.

Dave dragged his feet to art, the fact that Karkat was in that class completely slipping his mind. It took him almost the whole period to realize that the brunet was in fact sitting in his usual seat across the room, scribbling in his dark grey sketchbook.

When the thought did cross his mind, his head snapped up, staring wide-eyed at Karkat. He didn’t move until the bell rang, when the commotion of everyone standing up startled him out of his daze.

For the rest of the day, the previous night’s events ran through his mind over and over, the dread of actually seeing Karkat growing every minute closer science drew.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Dave could feel someone staring at him; he knew somebody’s eyes were boring into the back of his head, but he wasn’t completely sure who. He didn’t want to pick his head up from the lab table it was resting on, but after a few minutes of not paying attention to what the teacher was saying, he glanced up to see Terezi’s bespectacled face aimed directly at him.

“What?” he asked, his voice quiet and pissed off. “I thought you resolved things with him,” she whispered back, nodding at Karkat, who was scribbling in his sketchbook as usual.

Dave shrugged, laying his head back down. Terezi kept staring, but he ignored her in favor of staring at John’s open binder. The cheerier boy was taking notes on whatever was actually going on in class; he was the only one at the table who seemed to give two shits about school.

A piece of carelessly ripped notebook paper fell onto Dave’s desk. He unfolded it to see a note scribbled in Terezi’s messy handwriting, with the teal pen she always had.

_YOU KNOW H3 L1K3S YOU R1GHT?_

Dave stared at her before scribbling his own note.

_who likes me_

_is it john_

_tell him sorry but im not really into guys like him_

Terezi took the paper, sniffing it, then laughed.

_GOOD ON3 BUT YOU KNOW WHO 1 M34N_

_nah not really who ya talkin about_

_D4V3 YOU KNOW 1 M34N K4RK4T_

_tz i hate to break it to ya but he kinda hates me_

_NOT R34LLY NO_

Dave raised an eyebrow at her, questioning her logic. Karkat probably didn’t hate him, but there was at least a slight dislike. He didn’t reply to her note, though, not having a good reply.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Dave was sure that when he got home he wouldn’t have to deal with Terezi, who seemed as if she had suddenly decided that she was the ultimate matchmaker and was going to set him up with Karkat. He didn’t like Karkat, of course not. And besides, why would anyone like him? He was terrible to be around, whether he was hiding behind his mask or not.

With Dave’s luck, that never would have happened. Terezi would find his phone number or email, or god forbid his tumblr. But as far as he knew, he was still free of her for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna be gone for a week at camp so no update for a week but i'll write more as soon as i get back
> 
> don't forget to comment on the ending


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi pulled a tattered notebook from her bag. “This,” she announced to him, holding it up. “Is where I conspire with my friends. And Nep and I have determined that we are going to set you up with Karkat.”

“Coolkid. Coolkid. Coolkid. Coolkid.”

Terezi’s voice droned on and on, a wad of paper hitting Dave’s head every time she repeated the word. He ignored her, continuing to draw circles on his paper and pretend he wasn’t actually staring at Karkat, who was standing at the front of the room talking to the teacher.

“Coolkid. Coolkid. Coolkid.”

The voice had a steady rhythm, never missing a beat, and from Dave’s experience with the girl it belonged to, it wasn’t going to stop anytime soon.

It had been about a week since anything of note had happened, a week that Dave spent being about three hundred times more distant, aloof, and ignorant of the outside world than usual. He was fully aware of everything happening around him, but he decided to ignore it in favor of trying, for once in his life, to organize his thoughts.

After a few days, Terezi began to get a bit clingy; Dave could tell she was worried about him. She had found his number, but quickly stopped spamming him with texts after realizing he wouldn’t respond. But when she saw him in person she was persistent as ever, determined to crack through his mask.

It was amazing what getting rid of his jumbled emotions did for Dave. He was by no means cured of any of his mental shit he was beginning to let himself blame Bro for, but straightening out his thoughts made him feel like he was actually alive again, instead of the shell he’d been for years.

The week was tedious and boring to anyone trying to talk to Dave, but within the blond’s head, it was anything but. He had determined that it would probably make him happier to let himself stop trying to act like he cared about the popular kids, especially since they started trying to get him to join a sports team.

“Coolkid. Coolkid. Coolkid.”

Dave still ignored her, his eyes now on the seat diagonal from him. Karkat had returned to his seat, and was now sketching in his book. I’ll ask on Monday, Dave promised himself. I’ll ask what exactly it is he draws all the time and I’ll ask him to treat me like any other friend. It wasn’t exactly what he wanted, but it would do. Along with being relatively okay with himself, Dave had also discovered that yes, he did like Karkat. A lot, actually, not that he could tell you why. But he also knew that he had been a pretty unpleasant person, and couldn’t shake the idea that maybe he was actually a really undesirable person and he would rather not know how Karkat felt, and have a little hope, than have concrete proof that his feelings were unrequited.

Besides, it was probably just a meaningless crush, based solely in his newfound comfort with being alive.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaave,” Terezi whined. “Dave, pay attention to me! I’m like your only friend!”

The blond rolled his eyes behind his shades, finally acknowledging Terezi. “You’re really not, ‘Rezi,” he said coolly as he walked towards the front of the school building. “But what do you want?” He was replying because school was out for the weekend and he was more than ready to be social after forcing himself to ignore everyone for a week. Damn extroversion.

Terezi pulled a tattered notebook from her bag. “This,” she announced to him, holding it up. “Is where I conspire with my friends. And Nep and I have determined that we are going to set you up with Karkat.”

Dave spluttered, unsure he heard his friend correctly. It was nice to think of Terezi as a friend, but her words were startling enough to distract him from that.

“Set us up?”

Terezi nodded brightly. “You’re both way too oblivious and even though she did have a major crush on Karkat a while back we agree that you two need an intervention. Except the opposite. We need to get you together because it’ll probably be good for you, and… Well, let’s just say I know Karkat needs something to go really right, because his life is okay now but okay’s not enough to cancel out all the stuff that’s gone wrong for him.”

Dave raised an eyebrow over the top of his glasses, but Terezi didn’t seem to notice. “Besides!” she added. “I do like playing matchmaker. So does Nepeta. When it works - which it always does because we understand people - we create hella relationships and it’s like we successfully made a family in Sims or something.”

Dave laughed at the comparison, letting out some of the genuine happiness he suddenly felt from being around someone and not hiding from them. Terezi seemed to notice that he had lightened up too, and visibly relaxed.

It had totally slipped Dave’s mind that they were now walking towards his house, chattering away like they were totally okay and totally normal, and although he wasn’t spilling his soul, he was letting himself show emotion. Terezi could be his best friend, he thought. Terezi could definitely be his best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoooo sorry i took 3545412248051365 years like i said
> 
> camp
> 
> that was fun though but i was v busy when i got back
> 
> also please tell me if you think i should make the next chapter more karkat's pov cause i'm going to write that day after tomorrow (wednesday, june 17, 2015) but idk if i want one based around karkat
> 
> also please suggest side ships i wanna involve other characters more
> 
> anyway i think this is gonna have a happy arc before a sad one and basically im gonna make a roller coaster of emotion sorry not sorry
> 
> also does anyone wanna run a fansession blog w me cause i made too many fantrolls and i need someone to help me use them
> 
> anyway as always thanks for reading and don't forget to comment ur ending preferences (i've determined that i will post the happy one regardless but if you want to see a sad one i might post it as the alternate ending)


	10. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (This one's from Karkat's POV)
> 
> “Help with what?” Karkat replied, a bit worried about what Terezi and Nepeta conspiring would entail.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know nep doesn't always call him karkitty or karcat and i know she's not actually that obsessive but out of all the characters she's the closest to acting like this and there is a reason for it
> 
> so yes shes gonna be kinda ooc for a while but then there will be an explanation so stay tuned

“Hey, Karkitty!”

Karkat sighed, closing his sketchbook. Another distraction, great! “What’s up, Nepeta?” he asked. The girl was actually pretty pleasant to be around; she filled the room with a cheery air and was pretty nice, but Karkat wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone at the moment.

“Well, Terezi and I have been cons-purrr-iring - and by that of course I just mean talking, don’t worry - and we decided you need our help!” Nepeta said.

“Help with what?” Karkat replied, a bit worried about what Terezi and Nepeta conspiring would entail.

Nepeta sat down next to him, just as the bell to start third period rang out. She made no move to get up, causing Karkat to groan internally. She probably wouldn’t leave until the period was over, which meant he wouldn’t get to work on his drawing.

“Help getting your man, obviously!” she answered. “You are way too oblivious and let’s be honest, you’d be way cuter with him than me! I’m more than willing to give you up for a good paws!”

Karkat stared at her like she’d grown an extra head. “There are about three things wrong with that idea,” he said. “One. Please stop with the cat puns, at least around me. There are only so many and I’m tired of all of them. Two. You don’t own me?” He phrased that like a question, raising an eyebrow before he continued. “I’ve never belonged to you, so how would you give me up? And most importantly, number three. Who the fuck is ‘my man’?”

Nepeta looked stunned. “You really think you can convince me you don’t know?” she asked.

“Yes, I do,” Karkat replied. “Because I don’t know.”

Nepeta put on a sympathetic smile, placing a hand on Karkat’s shoulder. “Kitten, dear, you are so blatantly smitten, and I know you know exactly who I mean.”

Karkat wracked his brain, trying to figure out who Nepeta thought he liked. Unless she meant… But how would she figure that out?

“You don’t mean Strider?” he asked in disbelief, pouring disgust into the last word. He was surprised at how easy it was to act like Dave was some vile creature - he really did like the blond kid, though he wasn’t sure why and he was certain he’d done a good job of concealing that.

“You do know!” Nepeta exclaimed. “That was just a guess,” Karkat told her, but she ignored him. “See, I told you you loved him!” Karkat was beginning to question his earlier thought about enjoying Nepeta’s company.

“Can you please just leave me alone? I’m kinda busy anyway,” Karkat sighed. “I don’t have any interest in Strider, and even if I did, he fucking despises me.” Karkat didn’t really believe that, but Nepeta didn’t have Terezi’s skill at reading people and he was a good enough liar to at least fool her.

“I don’t care that he hates me,” Karkat continued. “It is kinda my fault, but that doesn’t bother me. He’s kind of a douche.” At least that was true. Karkat didn’t know exactly what the fuck was going on between them, but he did know that Dave was a complete douchebag - or at least acting like one.

“Awww, you’re in denial!” Nepeta exclaimed. “But Karkitty, he likes you too!”

“Sure, Nepeta, keep believing that if you want,” Karkat said sarcastically. Nepeta began to say something else, to which Karkat was paying no attention, when Mrs. Wang, their history teacher, spoke up.

“Miss Leijon, please return to your own seat,” she said from behind Nepeta. She placed a thin packet on Karkat’s desk, still staring at the girl as she passed out papers to those around him.

Reluctantly, Nepeta got up from the desk she’d been sitting in and walking back to an empty desk halfway across the room. With a sigh of relief, Karkat reopened his sketchbook and continued working on his sketch of exactly the person Nepeta seemed obsessed with.

Only a minute later, a crumpled-up piece of paper fell onto the page. Without looking up, Karkat knew exactly who it was from. He hesitated before opening it.

_:33 < come on karcat just go with it at least for terezi i know you guys are close_

Karkat crumpled the note back up, putting it into his back pocket. Nepeta was definitely acting weird, and it was a bit discomforting, but it was something Karkat could probably ignore, and something that would hopefully blow over.

A few more notes were thrown at him during the rest of the period, but he ignored them in favor of finishing his drawing. But even after working on it, adding every detail he could imagine, it still didn’t seem quite right. I need to know more about Dave, he thought. I need to know what he’s hiding under those shades.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys should all comment some side ships for me to put in because I feel like being 100% Davekat-centric might get boring after a while, which is what this fic will take - a while.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as I can!


	11. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Terezi shrugged. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” she said.

After a few days, Terezi began to let up on Dave, something he was very grateful for. But it wasn’t long before he realized he wasn’t free from her - she was just more intent on convincing Karkat that they were meant to be.

Regardless, he enjoyed the relative peace, even if he knew it was temporary. Sure enough, before the week was over, a short, energetic girl who seemed obsessed with cats had taken up Terezi’s role of pestering Dave. He was pretty sure this was Nepeta, though he wasn’t certain and it was easier to ignore her if he could pretend he didn’t know her.

Possibly Nepeta, as Dave quickly took to calling the cat girl, proved to be a far less diligent person than Terezi, and the second Dave walked into school on Monday, the latter was back on his case.

“I’m not into him,” Dave insisted. “I mean, I guess he’s not hideous, but he’s all shouty and he’s about four feet tall.”

“So? I put up with him. John likes him,” Terezi defended.

“Then set him up with John! No, but seriously, why is he so short?” he asked.

“Now, little Davey,” Terezi said, placing a hand on his shoulder. “When two people decide they want to, or, in bad situations, are forced to, they fuck. And sometimes there is a baby. And that baby looks different depending on these magical things called genes. And Karkat got genes for short, just like you got genes for too fucking tall.”

“Got it, smartass,” Dave interrupted when she took a breath. “But seriously. Stop trying to make Project Karkat And Dave happen. It’s not gonna work.”

Terezi shrugged. “I wouldn’t be so sure,” she said. “But I’ll lay off of you at the end of the week.”

Before Dave could protest, she walked away, leaving him conveniently at the door of his first-period class. With a sigh, he walked in, sitting down at his desk and fishing around in his bag for a scrap of paper and a red pen to doodle with.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

As she had promised, Terezi stopped bothering Dave at the end of the week. But as the days passed, Dave realized she was just spending that much more time pestering Karkat. He could only hope that the kid who seemed to just be a tiny ball of (clearly feigned) anger was just as good as Dave at ignoring the blind girl.

After two days of being constantly bothered by Terezi, Karkat somehow got ahold of Dave’s phone number, and started sending him texts written in all caps asking mostly for tips on how to ignore her. Dave acted like he didn’t know who was sending them, bombarding Karkat with ironic selfies and (mostly outdated) memes.

Dave had to admit, Karkat was much better at ignoring his obnoxious texts than most people he’d met. After a while, though, it got boring, and he actually acknowledged Karkat.

sorry bro a strider dont give away strider secrets

DAVE, TELL ME HOW I GET TEREZI TO SHUT

UP. I KNOW YOU KNOW. TELL ME.

with my signature strider charm

BULLSHIT, TELL ME.

cant code of honor

TELL ME IN THE FORM OF A RARE PEPE THEN

aw shit you know memes

YES, DAVE, YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO

DISCOVERED TUMBLR.

ok i kinda wanna tell you now since u know how to

shitpost

PLEASE DO.

i said kinda want to, not will

FUCK YOU.

get in line, kitten

WHAT THE FUCK NO.

ok but youre missin out on this fine piece of ass

I DOUBT IT.

its grade a

JUST TELL ME HOW TO GET RID OF HER.

[file sent: IMG005630]

DAMMIT DAVE I DON’T WANT ANY MORE

RARE PEPES. I HAVE ENOUGH.

[file sent: IMG005448]

I ALSO DON’T WANT ANY CRISP MEME

BUCKS, NO MATTER HOW MANY.

shit bro youre no fun

The conversation ended there, and Karkat spent the next day glaring at Dave, who just gave the short boy a sarcastic grin. Dave did reply to the texts Terezi had sent him weeks ago, telling her to leave Karkat alone. She must have taken it as some sort of progress, because she didn’t stop pestering him completely, but she did cut down on it.

It was another few weeks before anything happened between anyone, until a month before winter break. It was then that the banners and posters for the winter dance started appearing.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yo thanks for reading
> 
> comments are great and i reply to all of them so hmu
> 
> if anyone has fantrolls we should rp


	12. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dave, I am not a homosexual! Of course, I support all the sexualities - gay, bisexual…” He glanced down at his wrist, where some blue writing was smudged and fading. “Pancake… No, that’s not right. Um… Panera bread, maybe? And Transportation, and card game? no, not card game…”

Terezi sat down in science cackling, which was more than a little worrying to Dave.

“What is it?” Karkat asked for him. The two had actually been talking more, and Dave hated to admit it, but he definitely liked Karkat. He’d been doing a lot better in general, with only one relapse that hadn’t even been bad - he’d just felt like shit for a day then was back to being Mostly Okay.

“Okay, okay, get this,” the redhead laughed. “Sollux was in my last period, and that nerd already has a fucking date to the dance.”

“How’s that funny?” Dave asked. He didn’t know Sollux very well, but he knew enough to know that the kid was a really smart hacker who knew like three languages and grew up in Manila. “I mean, I’d date him, except for the fact that he’s not my type at all, and I am not at all physically, romantically, sexually, sensually, or even really aesthetically attracted to him.”

“You know your shit,” Karkat murmured. Dave didn’t think he was supposed to hear that, so he ignored it.

“It’s not the fact that he has a date,” Terezi explained. “It’s who that date is.”

Both Dave and Karkat raised eyebrows. “It’s Eridan,” she announced.

Dave knew Eridan even less well than Sollux, but he knew a hell of a lot about Eridan.

All three of them started laughing uncontrollably. It was at this moment that John ran into the room, sitting down just as the bell rang. “Sollux and Eridan are dating!” he exclaimed as if they would never know.

“We know, idiot!” Terezi shouted, attracting a few stares from the others in the room. The biology teacher had long since stopped caring about noise levels, and teaching this particular period in general.

John looked surprised, then joined them in laughing. “Aren’t they both genderfluid?” Terezi asked. John looked confused, Dave shrugged, and Karkat shook his head. “Eridan is, Sollux is bigender,” he corrected.

John looked more confused, and the other three continued laughing. “Eridan and Sollux,” Terezi managed to say after a while. “Comical.”

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

After class, Terezi and Dave walked down the hall together, Terezi explaining to Dave about how dances worked at this school.

Right before they got to the front, Dave waved to her, running up to John. “Hey, John,” he called to the boy, who turned around.

“Could you do something for me?” he asked. John nodded, looking up at Dave. “What do you need?” “Ask Karkat to the dance,” he instructed the shorter boy.

“Wh- Karkat?” John asked. “Dave, I am not a homosexual! Of course, I support all the sexualities - gay, bisexual…” He glanced down at his wrist, where some blue writing was smudged and fading. “Pancake… No, that’s not right. Um… Panera bread, maybe? And Transportation, and card game? no, not card game…”

“John, I have two things to say. One, you’re a fucking idiot, it’s pansexual, and transgender, and ace - asexual - and two, I know you like him, so shut up. Now, let’s try this again. John, I need you to do something for me.”

John sighed. “What is it?” he asked.

“Ask out Karkat, to the dance or just in general,” Dave instructed him. Before he could get a reply, he disappeared into the crowd, ducking down so his white-blond hair didn’t stick up over everyone else’s head, except that stoner kid with hair worse than Karkat’s.

As he slunk away, he sighed, hoping he would soon have a reason to not try and get Karkat to like him back.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo this one's really short but 2 in 1 day ya know
> 
> the 2 in 1 is also kinda cause the last one took forever.
> 
> Anyway thanks for reading, don't forget to comment!
> 
> also what do i call the school. have i even named it yet? i don't think so.


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Nah, bro, I’m laughing at your brilliant word choice. What was it, fuckwhiffing seedflaphumping groincatch? that’s absolutely fucking hilarious,” Dave said before continuing to chuckle.

“Dave, I need your help,” Karkat’s rough voice startled Dave, who had been spacing out during art. Admittedly, he’d been staring at Karkat when his lapse in consciousness had begun, so hadn’t noticed the brunet get up and walk over to his seat.

“Help with what?” Dave asked, looking up at the boy standing behind his chair.

“I kinda fucked up, and you’re the only one who might possibly agree to help me,” Karkat replied, opening a drawer and pretending to look for something.

“What did you do?” Dave asked with a bit of a sigh, praying it would be a hole that he would be able to help Karkat out of.

“Well, John kind of asked me to go to the dance with him,” Karkat muttered, looking down.

“So? That’s good, right? Go with him.” Dave looked back down, glad his skin was dark enough to hide the fact that his face was hot.

“That’s… not the problem,” Karkat added. “I kinda told him I was already going with someone.” Dave looked up. “You are?” he asked. “No, that’s the problem. I just don’t really like him and it was the first excuse I could think of.”

“Then just ask someone else, it’s not that hard,” Dave told him with an exasperated sigh. It was the easiest solution, how had Karkat not thought of it?

“I can’t,” Karkat protested. “Nobody would say yes.” Dave crossed his arms, slouching down in his seat. “I’m sure somebody would agree, even if it’s as friends,” he said. God, Karkat was being an absolute idiot.

Glancing up, Dave realized Karkat was staring at him, a mix between a glare and a discouraged look. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this, Strider,” he growled, his voice wavering. “But I don’t have any friends other than the group you’ve so easily assimilated yourself into. I never talk to anyone else. Face it, everyone thinks - no, knows - I’m a freak.”

“You’re not a freak,” Dave replied without thinking.

“Yes, I am, and there are things you don’t know about me that everyone else at this godforsaken school know. They shouldn’t, but they do, and I have to deal with everyone being a fuckwhiffing seedflaphumping groincatch because they don’t know how to deal with somebody who’s not exactly-” He stopped when he realized Dave was laughing. “Hey! Asshole! Why are you laughing at me?”

“Nah, bro, I’m laughing at your brilliant word choice. What was it, fuckwhiffing seedflaphumping groincatch? that’s absolutely fucking hilarious,”  Dave said before continuing to chuckle.

Karkat glared at him before walking back to his seat. Damn, Dave thought. I wanna hear more great insults. “No, come back,” he whispered, but Karkat was gone, not to be interacted with again until science.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry that this is kind of turning into a pure shitpost right now, it will hopefully get better.
> 
> i know it's short, but there might be a span of short, frequent chapters rn so expect a lot of not a lot
> 
> heed my suggestions from the last chapter and comment, also we should roleplay if you have fantrolls (i know i'm trash)


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, shit. Oh, motherfucking shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is freaking tiny but I'm posting 2 at once because it was a good place to switch to Karkat's point of view.

_I NEVER ACTUALLY FINISHED WHAT I WANTED TO SAY._

Dave read the note that had fallen onto his notebook in the middle of a lecture about the functions of the lymphatic system, recognizing Karkat’s neat, small handwriting.

_well then do you want to finish_

He crumpled up the paper and tossed his reply at Karkat, hitting him in the face with it. Oops. He watched as Karkat read the note, then scribbled on the paper before throwing it back.

_YEAH._

Dave raised an eyebrow at Karkat, who just shrugged. Rolling his eyes, the blond wrote a reply.

_go right ahead then queen karkles_

The nickname earned him a glare, but Karkat did start writing. It took longer than the last one, but Dave kept watching his hand until the paper was tossed back at him. It hit him square in the nose, bouncing off his shades onto the desk. Payback, he supposed. Karma.

Opening the paper, he began reading Karkat’s message.

_WELL, YOU’RE THE ONLY POSSIBLE EXCUSE I HAVE. SO, TO BE AS BLUNT AS POSSIBLE, I NEED YOU TO GO TO THE DANCE WITH ME. ALSO, I WOULD ACTUALLY ENJOY GOING WITH YOU._

Oh, shit. Oh, motherfucking shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For KarkatLovesBuckets:  
> here's what Dave looks like. but like. he has eyes. Karkat can literally look like anything, he's just short. also probably kinda chubby.  
> http://bi--polarbear.deviantart.com/art/Dave-Strider-as-drawn-by-Karkat-542534431
> 
> i may or may not have vaguely based that idea for his appearance off Cykeem White. but with shorter hair and more freckles. maybe. but let's be honest, Cykeem White is a very attractive human being. i'll even save you the effort of looking him up. here's a link.  
> https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1366&bih=667&q=cykeem+white&oq=cyk&gs_l=img.1.0.0l10.5220.6041.0.8219.3.3.0.0.0.0.107.257.2j1.3.0....0...1ac.1.64.img..0.3.253.i5lxVpaM1R4#
> 
> as always, thanks for reading and don't forget to comment!


	15. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i kinda told john to ask you  
> cause like  
> i know he likes you

Karkat bit his lip, staring at Dave. If he didn’t agree… Well, Karkat would be in some deep shit. He liked John, he really did, but the kid was too clueless and there was no way he could ever voluntarily spend extended periods of time with him, especially in a date-type scenario. He didn’t like John.

He didn’t expect Dave to be all for going out with him, and that was fine. But he could at least agree to go to one dance with him, right?

He was forced out of his thoughts by the paper landing back on his sketchbook. Trying not to seem too eager, he opened it, searching for Dave’s most recent reply.

_well i mean that sounds kinda cool but i dont think i can_

_sorry bro_

Karkat’s heart fell, and he looked up at Dave with a confused face.

_WHY NOT?_

He threw the paper back, Dave immediately opening it and writing something.

_i kinda told john to ask you_

_cause like_

_i know he likes you_

Karkat stared at him, trying to convey ‘you’re so fucking stupid why would you think that was a good idea,’ though he didn’t think Dave got it.

_WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?_

He threw the note back to Dave, waiting impatiently for a reply.

_cause he likes you and wouldnt do it otherwise_

Karkat glared at Dave as he wrote furiously on the last blank area of the page.

_I DON’T LIKE HIM, THOUGH, AND NOW I GAVE HIM AN EXCUSE FOR NOTHING!_

Dave pulled out a new sheet of paper, writing a reply.

_why cant you ask someone other than me_

Karkat stared at the question, remembering everyone who had stared at him in disgust for weeks, everyone who at least had the decency to be polite to him.

_IT’S A LONG STORY. I JUST CAN’T. NOBODY WOULD GO WITH ME._

_PLEASE DON’T ASK._

After reading the note, Dave looked up at Karkat. He bit his lip and looked back down at the paper, writing one last note.

_id go with you_

_i really would i swear_

_but i cant be your hero_

_i dont want to be your hero, or anyones_

_i guess we both have fucked up shit that went on in our pasts_

_hell, im just realizing now that the shit in my past was fucked up_

_but i cant do it even if i do want to_

Karkat looked pleadingly at Dave, but the blond was staring at his desk. Karkat wrote him another note, but he tucked it into his pocket without reading it. Dejected, Karkat stared down at his notebook, thinking of the still-unfinished drawing inside, with the shading and lines all perfect save for the blank area in the middle of the face where Dave’s eyes should go.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did you read the update omg i can use so many canon things now
> 
> im excited i get to add stuff to my plan
> 
> anyway thanks for reading and don't forget to comment!


	16. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He tried making a comic once, but almost immediately gave up on making the art look good. The project lasted almost a year, but he had given up after running out of ideas.
> 
> Terezi would probably like that comic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG

“Holy shit, what happened to get you to do _that_?” Terezi practically screeched, earning her more than a few stares. She ignored all the eyes on her in favor of pointing and staring at Dave.

“You’re not even in this class…” Dave said, not looking up from his desk.

“Yeah, but you’re doing work!” she screamed. The one other person in the art class who hadn’t already looked up finally turned their head (it was Karkat).

“TZ, find your chill,” Dave said calmly, glancing at the page that had the assignment on it before turning back to his drawing. “I lost my chill forever, coolkid! The hell’s wrong with you today? Do you need counseling?”

“Miss Pyrope, please go back to your own class,” the teacher said tiredly. Terezi gave a small gasp, remembering the large manila folder in her hand. “Right, I came here to drop this off! Ms. Fiorde said it was some art thing, I don’t remember.” She put it down on the counter behind Dave’s desk.

“Terezi, leave,” Dave said, ignoring her from that point on. It wasn’t long before she left the classroom, still muttering to herself in disbelief.

Glad the episode was over, Dave returned to his art, which didn’t actually fit the task anyway. He was okay at drawing, he thought, though nothing particularly special. He tried making a comic once, but almost immediately gave up on making the art look good. The project lasted almost a year, but he had given up after running out of ideas.

Terezi would probably like that comic.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

“Sooooooooooo, have you suddenly morphed into a star student?” Terezi asked excitedly the second Dave sat down in science.

“No, Terezi,” Dave replied without looking up at her. “That wasn’t even classwork, I was just doodling.”

He could feel the disappointment radiating off of her. “Damn, I was hoping I could get you to do some of this math for me cause I am far too lazy.”

Trying to repress a smile, Dave heard a snicker from Karkat. “Good luck getting that to happen,” Karkat muttered with a smirk.

Terezi stared at him in mock surprise. “What?” she asked. “Are you sure? I mean, you were drawing in art class…”

John, who hadn’t participated in conversation up to that point, butted in on Terezi’s side. “Yeah, Dave, I think that automatically makes you a straight-a goody two shoes who’s great at everything school,” he confirmed.

The blond shrugged, waving the suggestion off. “Can’t be. I don’t think anything about me is straight, why should my grades be?” John stared at him, as if the conversation they had had just days prior, in which Dave had explained the basic levels of Not Straightness, had never happened.

“Wait, you’re gay?” the blue-eyed boy asked incredulously after a moment. He looked from Dave to Terezi to Karkat, as if searching for similar expressions.

“This is news to you, Egderp?” Karkat asked. “Well, figures, considering you’re the token straight friend.”

“Actually, I’m not gay,” Dave said, though his words were lost in his friends marvelling over his other friend’s oblivious nature.

“Token straight friend?” John asked. “You mean all of you are gay?”

Terezi gave him a shrug, accompanied by a bored-sounding, “If you use that as an umbrella term.”

“Panromantic demisexual,” Dave continued. He also continued to be ignored. “Dunno about gender. That shit’s confusing.”

“Even Jade?” John asked. He was answered with nodding from both Terezi and Karkat. “She’s somewhere on the ace spectrum, I don’t know exactly,” the latter added.

“Vriska?” More nods. “Aro,” Terezi informed John.

“Eri-- wait, no, he’s with Sollux…” John trailed off, clearly going through their friends in his head.

“Aradia?” he finally asked. “Ace,” Terezi said at the same time Karkat said, “Panromantic.”

John looked mildly distressed. “Everyone?”

“John, we’ve established the fact that everyone’s queer,” Dave answered, finally speaking up enough for everyone to pay attention. “And you’re the only one who cares.”

John feel silent, staring at the front of the classroom. After a few minutes, Karkat opened that notebook and tore out a page, scribbling something down and throwing it at Dave.

 _I NEED TO TALK TO YOU_ , the note said. Dave raised an eyebrow at Karkat, but nodded. _yeah sure later i guess_ , he wrote back.

Karkat read the note, breathing out in relief, leaving Dave to wonder nervously what it was he wanted to talk about.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took so long, i had people visiting and then it was my birthday so i had like no chance to write
> 
> well i had like an hour at one point but i ended up on tumblr oops
> 
> anyway, thanks for reading and comments are very much appreciated!


	17. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He can’t think of what could have happened to Karkat for him to be so… well, it would be a bit hypocritical to say secretive. Cautious was a word that could work, he guessed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry this took so long; the beach house i was staying at didn't have good wifi and since i write this on google docs i couldn't work on it till i got home
> 
> i did answer some comments from my phone though

Karkat didn’t stop Dave after class, leaving the latter even more anxious. Dave lingered in the room as long as he could, leaving just behind Karkat. He stayed as close to the brunet boy as he could without walking directly with him, staring at him from behind his shades even after they left the school building.

There was no way for Dave to follow Karkat without being obvious; they lived in exact opposite directions. Reluctantly, the blond began walking home, hoping Karkat would actually talk to him soon.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Dave was lying flat on his bed with a bowl of Doritos when his phone buzzed. It wasn’t the custom vibration Terezi had insisted he use for her, and nobody else really texted him. It was a bit sad, he supposed, but he saw the other people he was willing to interact with regularly enough, and as far as he knew none of them had his number.

Picking up the device, he almost choked on his chips laughing. Message from: karkalicious definitious makes them boyz go loco, the screen read. He’d completely forgotten Karkat’s contact name. Was it bad that he laughed at his own joke? Oh well.

_I FORGOT TO TELL YOU TO COME_

_OH, I DON’T KNOW_

_SIT IN A MAGICAL FOREST OR SOMETHING_

_the fuck does that mean bro_

_DO YOU WANT TO HEAR WHAT I WANTED TO_

_TALK ABOUT OR NOT_

_yeah what is it_

_I GUESS IT’S BETTER IN PERSON BUT WHATEVER_

_ok ya gonna tell me or not_

_YES_

_then tell me_

_OKAY! BASICALLY, NOBODY LIKES ME OTHER_

_THAN THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW. THEY DON’T_

_CARE THAT MUCH ANYMORE BUT_

_SOMEBODY, NOT NAMING NAMES, FUCKED UP_

_AND NOW I’M NOT WORTH ANYONE’S TIME._

_BUT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT EVERYONE ELSE_

_DOES. AND IT’S KINDA SHITTY TO TAKE_

_ADVANTAGE OF THAT BUT I CAN CONVINCE_

_MYSELF THAT YOU DON’T JUST PUT UP_

_WITH ME OUT OF PITY._

_you cant_

_you cant just say that then not tell me_

_shit bro im curious as fuck_

Karkat didn’t reply, leaving Dave nervous he said the wrong thing.

_never mind it’s ok_

_you don’t have to say what happened_

_if you don’t want to_

_that’s cool_

_personal boundaries_

He still didn’t get a response for a minute, and he was terrified he’d ruined whatever the relationship they had was.

_IT’S NOT SO MUCH THAT YOU *CAN’T* KNOW_

_AND MORE I DON’T WANT TO TELL YOU_

_WELL_

_NOW. LIKE THIS_

_BASICALLY NOT OVER TEXT, I GUESS_

Dave breathed out in relief, overjoyed that he hadn’t totally ruined everything. Of course, the fear that he actually had done something wrong and that was just an excuse slunk into the back of his mind, but he ignored that for the time being.

_ok yeah that makes sense_

he typed out, finding comfort in the lack of emotion conveyed by text.

A minute later, his phone buzzed again.

_I’LL TELL YOU WHENEVER WE SEE EACH_

_OTHER IN PERSON, BUT NOT AT SCHOOL._

Not at school? Dave wonders. He can’t think of what could have happened to Karkat for him to be so… well, it would be a bit hypocritical to say secretive. Cautious was a word that could work, he guessed.

But fuck, he was intrigued by the shouty little kid, and boy, did he hate just how much he cared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, sorry this took so long! thanks for reading, and comments are always appreciated! i'm hoping to get maybe 3-5 more chapters in before school starts for me then i'll post probably once a week, but the chapters will hopefully be longer for the most part.
> 
> also: this has over 1000 hits, making it the most popular anything i've ever written. that probably has something to do with the fact that i have a tendency to scrap stuff then delete it (if you've ever read something of mine that i've deleted, i still have the file. 99 times out of 100.)
> 
> also also: oops every fanfic i write ends up being a songfic, or at least has a song title/song lyric for the title. i'm gonna try and write a 900,000 word thing, 100k per chapter. more on that as i write my ass off. it's also davekat oops i'm trash. it's gonna be a college/band au. mostly band. i have no idea how i'll do that.


	18. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Yeah, you sounded like you wanted to tell me some shit.”
> 
> Karkat tensed up, but before Dave could notice he relaxed. “Oh, that. Uh, okay, I guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm bad at this i'm sorry
> 
> also did i ever say what state this is set in? even if i did its tennessee now

After a couple days of Karkat never confronting Dave (to be fair, they did only ever interact in school, but Dave was impatient and a little lazy so he was expecting his friend to do all the work), the blond resorted to staring pointedly at Karkat for hours on end. Karkat never seemed to notice, so that plan only lasted a couple more days.

Finally, the week was coming to an end and Dave was done waiting. “Karkat,” he called out to the short boy leaving the science lab. “You’re coming over.” The second he said it he realized he didn’t really want people at his house, since he didn’t really consider it _his_ house, but the words were already out.

Oh well, he guessed.

“Oh, um, okay,” Karkat replied. “Like, now? To your house?” Dave nodded nonchalantly, internally still cursing himself for the suggestion. “Yeah, you sounded like you wanted to tell me some shit.”

Karkat tensed up, but before Dave could notice he relaxed. “Oh, that. Uh, okay, I guess.” He shoved his hands in his pocket, waiting for Dave to move. “I don’t know where your house is, dumbass,” he said when Dave didn’t move.

“Right.” Dave began walking towards his house, too embarrassed to check if Karkat was following. It wasn’t until he reached the house that he turned around to look at Karkat, whose freckled nose was pink.

“Dude.” Karkat looked startled when Dave spoke up. “What?” he asked. “It’s not even that cold,” Dave said, nodding at his face. Confused, Karkat took out his phone, opening the camera. “Oh. I get cold easily,” he said, stepping up the last brick step so he was as level with Dave as he could be despite the height difference.

“Are you going to let me in? I mean, it _was_ you who invited me over,” Karkat asked, crossing his arms. “Sorry, distracted,” Dave muttered, fishing a key out of his pocket. He unlocked the dark wooden door, pushing it open. “After you, milady,” he said, waving Karkat inside.

“Don’t call me milady,” Karkat said immediately. Dave raised an eyebrow, but didn’t object.

“So, this is my room,” Dave announced, a bit awkwardly. “It’s a mess. I’m not gonna clean it though, so… sorry if it bothers you.” Karkat shrugged. “It’s whatever, I guess,” he replied.

Dave didn’t want to seem too impatient, but he was impatient and besides, he was really curious too. “Uh, what was that thing you wanted to show me?” he asked. “I mean, it seemed important, and like, you’re my friend, so…” He almost stumbled over the word ‘friend.’

“Do you have a computer?” Karkat asked. Dave pointed to a large monitor a few feet away. “It’s not usually online but I don’t have the physical copy so I guess I’ll just pull up the digital version,” Karkat said as he typed away. A minute later, he control-f’d something, then turned the screen to Dave.

“What’s an online yearbook picture of a six-year-old girl have to do with you?” Dave asked when he figured out what the picture was. Karkat highlighted the corresponding name in reply.

A few things clicked in Dave’s mind, but he didn’t let it show. “Okay, so you had a bad kindergarten yearbook picture. So did everyone else on the planet,” he said casually.

“Dave, this is a picture of a girl.”

“Yeah, so? I guess she kinda looks like you, but like… longer hair. Big deal, they put the wrong person’s picture in your spot. What, do people mock you or something? Like, that’s pretty shitty, but it’s really nothing. I could totally kick their asses if you want.”

Was it an assholey thing to pretend he didn’t know what was going on? Probably…. Well, Dave was great at fucking up so who cares? It’s not like he liked Karkat or anything….. ahaha….

“God, you’re fucking dense. _That’s me, idiot._ That’s why everyone hates me. Because even though I moved before high school, some cocklicking banana found my old yearbook pictures because only a terrible school has their entire archives publicly online. People hate me because this is Tennessee and I’m basically the cishet white patriarchy’s worst fucking nightmare!”

“Woah, Karkat, chill. I get it. Well, as much as I can not being in your same boat,” Dave said. “But why are you assuming that the fact that you’re not cis will be some terrible realization to me and I’ll never speak to you again? Contrary to popular belief, I’m not a total dick. Also sorry for calling you milady I’m sure that was rude as fuck and gave you dysphoria or something and--”

“Two things,” Karkat interrupted. “One. You ramble. Two. You seem pretty knowledgable on… being…” He bit his lip, looking for the right word. “Queer.”

“I don’t know, I was curious. And confused. Mostly confused. Cause masculinity seemed like bullshit even though my Bro was kinda obsessed with it. So I looked shit up. Lots of shit.”

Karkat laughed. “You, researching something? From what I’ve seen, you don’t have the work ethic for that.”

“Shut up,” Dave said.

“And you, having a problem with masculinity? You don’t look like you really give a shit about gender roles.”

It was Dave’s turn to laugh. “Hey, maybe I’m secretly a scene poet and I write about how death is great and go on emo chat forums with a name like Xx_d4v1d_3l1z4b3th_str1d3r_xX,” he said.

“David Elizabeth Strider?” Karkat asked after figuring out what Dave had said. “That’s a bit random.”

“Well, you know how scene kids feel about being ‘rAndoM XD XD waffle rainbows’,” he said. “But, uh… that may or may not actually be my middle name.”

Karkat looked at him incredulously. “Spill,” he commanded. “Bro thought it’d be funny, I guess,” Dave said. “I don’t actually know. Like I’ve said. My weird brother-guardian died when I was like ten.”

“Cool, I guess?” Karkat phrased it like a question.

“Well, I feel like this might turn weird and personal,” Dave said. “So… Can I interest you in a snack?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and sorry it took so long. i'm terrible at this whole "scheduling" thing. but hey at least i worked on my other fic (you know the hella long one) a little.
> 
> i promise there will be like relationship stuff next chapter
> 
> don't let me not post the next one before school starts just keep commenting at me to write it
> 
> it needs to be up by august 10 don't let me forget


	19. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave was hit with the question, once again, of whether his feelings were really unrequited after all. 
> 
> Just ask, he told himself. What’s the worst that could happen? He couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t --
> 
> “What?” Karkat asked, surprised.
> 
> Goddammit he’d asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did it
> 
> one day before my self-set deadline

“Why do you only have health foods and Doritos?” Karkat asked, closing the fridge and opening the freezer. “And more importantly, why do you put Doritos in the fridge, and the freezer, and probably the pantry too?”

“That’s where there was room,” Dave replied. “And the Bonners are like… health nuts, or something. I’ve lived with them for like two months, I think, and I still don’t know anything about them.” He reached into the pantry, fishing around. “I just throw a ton of Doritos in whenever I’m at the store. It’s really more of a habit than me genuinely enjoying them, though.”

“Not to be rude or anything, Dave, but Doritos kind of suck,” Karkat said, looking sadly into the freezer. “Do you not have any ice cream or anything?” “Nah, sorry,” Dave replied, pulling out a few bags of popcorn. “I do have these, if you want to microwave them.”

Karkat took the popcorn, looking around the kitchen before walking over to the microwave and putting the popcorn in. “I actually kind of hate popcorn,” Dave said as he opened the fridge and grabbed a bag of Doritos. “Cause when I was like eight I had braces and I wasn’t allowed to eat it but my Bro didn’t stop me so I ate it out of spite, like, constantly, to the point where even the smell of it made me want to throw up even though I still ate so much goddamn popcorn until my neighbor finally got me to stop eating popcorn.”

He walked over to the counter, leaning against it and opening the bag.

“You’re right, this is getting weird and personal,” Karkat said, “so I guess I have a similar story. My brother used to lick all the cheese off the Doritos and instead of just not eating them I would try and get to the bag first to do it before he got the chance and then we would basically attack my mom when she got home from the store and then she eventually caught on and stopped buying the big bags of them. Then we still did it with the smaller bags so she banned Doritos from our house. I didn’t even like them in the first place though.”

“Weird childhood food story buddies?” Dave asked, raising a hand. “Sure,” Karkat replied reaching up and trying to high-five it. “Except your hand’s too high.”

“What do you mean?” Dave asked, raising his arm higher. “Hey!” Karkat jumped up, swatting at Dave’s arm. “I have no idea what you’re complaining about,” Dave said, standing on his toes. “Come on, Karkat, don’t leave me hanging.”

“You’re an asshole, Dave!” Karkat laughed, grabbing Dave’s shoulder and trying, and failing, to pull himself up. “Lower your hand!” He jumped up again, almost reaching Dave’s hand. “Come on, Karkat, you have to high-five me!” “I’m trying!” Karkat cried, jumping. “Try harder!”

Karkat glared at Dave, walking over to the counter beside him. “I am trying harder,” he said, jumping up in another attempt to hit Dave’s hand.

“That’s not hard enough!” Dave laughed. “But please try harder than that because I’m not putting my hand down until you reach it but my arm’s getting really tired,” he added.

Karkat stared at him, making no move to try and high-five him, when the microwave beeped. Still staring at Dave, Karkat walked slowly over to the microwave, taking out the popcorn and proceeding to open every cabinet one by one looking for bowls.

Just Dave’s luck - the very last one he looked in was the right one. His arm was really starting to hurt; telling Karkat that was probably a terrible idea. But Dave saw his chance when Karkat turned around to pour the popcorn into the bowl he’d finally found. He ran across the kitchen, grabbing Karkat around the waist and picking him up.

Karkat yelped and dropped the bag of popcorn, spilling the snack all over the floor. “Hey! What the hell?” he shouted, trying to turn around.

“You’re really light, dude, whoa,” Dave laughed, putting Karkat down. “And jumpy, god.”

Karkat spun around, a bewildered expression on his face. “What was that for?” he asked, then took a deep breath. “I mean, I was being kind of obnoxious, but still!”

“I don’t really have an answer for that,” Dave said. “Sorry, you were there. I never said I was completely not a dick.”

Karkat looked down at the scattered popcorn. “I’m not cleaning that up though,” he vowed. “And I doubt you can get away with leaving it here.” With a sigh, Dave found the broom and began cleaning up the popcorn while Karkat sat on the counter watching and eating the popcorn that hadn’t fallen on the floor.

Neither of them realized that the Bonners’ twelve-year-old daughter, whose name Dave still didn’t know, had walked in until she spoke up.

“Is that your boyfriend?”

Karkat nearly choked on his popcorn. “What?!” they asked simultaneously. Karkat laughed, though Dave could tell it was faked.

“Are you sure?” the blonde girl asked, clearly talking only to Dave. “My friend said that her sister said that your friend said that you had a boyfriend and you’ve never had anybody over except for him so who else could that be?”

“That’s Steve,” Dave said, continuing to clean up the spilled popcorn. “He’s my partner for a science project. Your friend’s sister lied.”

The younger girl narrowed her eyes, then walked slowly out of the room.

“Steve?” Karkat asked. “Science project? There’s no way anybody would believe that.” Dave shrugged. “Worth a shot, I guess,” he said, throwing away the last of the floor popcorn. “Would you rather me have said yes?”

“Sure,” Karkat said. “It’d be more believable.” Dave was hit with the question, once again, of whether his feelings were really unrequited after all.

 _Just ask_ , he told himself. _What’s the worst that could happen?_ He couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t he couldn’t --

“What?” Karkat asked, surprised.

Goddammit he’d asked.

“Well, I mean… Yeah, I think so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading, school starts tomorrow for me so i'll probably do a once a week thing, i haven't decided if it'll be wednesday or saturday yet though


	20. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So, Steve, tell us about yourself!” Mrs. Bonner prompted as they were sitting at a large, rectangular table.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry it took like 3 weeks for me to post this; I had some writer's block and the first couple weeks of school were super busy for me, but hopefully I'll get back on track with updates.

Dave was frozen. At first he’d been staring at Karkat but it hadn’t taken long for him to zone out.

Karkat waved a hand in front of Dave’s face, focusing his eyes again. “Was that the wrong answer?” he asked nervously, looking down at his lap. “I mean, like… I couldn’t guarantee that I’m into you cause you were kinda elusive at first and all but if you’re not just acting like you’re friends with ‘Rezi and John and everyone then I can at least say I think you’re cool but if that’s the wrong answer or something I could take it back, or…”

“No, that’s… Why would I even ask if there was a wrong answer?” Dave ran a hand through his hair. This was surreal. “I mean it’s your opinion so… never mind, the answer is no. That’s not the wrong answer.”

And then there was silence.

“Uh… cool?” Karkat finally said. “I… how do you respond to… not being hated by somebody?”

Dave didn’t have an answer for that, and since neither were particularly skilled at upholding conversations, they sat in silence for about twenty minutes before Mrs. Bonner walked in.

“Oh, hello, dear!” she greeted Karkat. “Are you one of Dave’s friends?”

“Yeah,” Karkat said after a moment. “Steve, we’re in the same science class.”

Mrs. Bonner looked absolutely delighted. “Well, Steve,” she said cheerfully. “Why don’t you call your parents and see if you can stay for dinner!” Dave looked over at them. “Yeah, Steve, can’t believe I didn’t think of that already.”

As quickly as she had walked into the kitchen, Mrs. Bonner left, walking up the stairs, probably to talk to her daughter.

As soon as she was gone, Karkat looked panickedly at Dave. “I can’t stay Steve! There’s no way I’ll remember that!” Dave shrugged. “Tough luck, dude. Not my fault you told her you’re Steve. Also there’s no way she’ll let you leave so hopefully you like lasagna or whatever she’s making.”

Karkat glared at him.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

Karkat quickly learned that the whole of Dave’s Not-Family was very happy-go-lucky and also that they thought he was Steve.

He was beginning to rethink what he said about Dave being cool, but he did still like the guy, much to his own despair. There was no way Dave actually reciprocated even if he didn’t hate Karkat. He shouldn’t have admitted that he liked him.

After all, Dave was cool and tall and probably good at stuff. Karkat could draw, kind of, but he couldn’t even finish drawing Dave because of those stupid sunglasses he really wanted to break.

But before he could deal with his own feelings, he had to deal with a very stereotypical suburban family - he should ask Dave if Mrs. Bonner’s name was Carol and if she posted wine and minion memes on Facebook.

“So, Steve, tell us about yourself!” Mrs. Bonner prompted as they were sitting at a large, rectangular table.

Before Karkat could answer, Dave butted in. “He’s really into biology,” he said around a mouthful of pasta. “Dream is to become a biologist.”

Karkat nodded. “Yeah, I really like plants. They’re cool.”

One personality trait seemed to be all the Bonners needed, so they somehow managed to keep conversation centered around science for the entirety of dinner. Karkat was actually okay at the subject, so he was pretty sure he sounded convincing, but he was going to find a way to get Dave back for this.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It took long enough, but eventually everyone left the table and Dave was left to walk Karkat home, since Steve lived ‘just a couple streets over.’

That, too, was a lie; Karkat lived almost a mile away. Dave insisted on walking the whole way with him, saying any excuse was reason enough for him to get out of the house for a while.

“I can run back, I’m still kinda fast from when my Bro was making me do like, five minute miles. Swear I’ve got some sort of development shit from being worked too hard really young,” he promised.

They walked quietly most of the way, paying more attention to their surroundings than each other. It was about 7:00, and everything was still a light dusky color even in mid-November.

“I’ll go with you,” Dave blurted out when they were almost at Karkat’s complex. “To.. to the dance, you know.”

“Oh… cool,” Karkat replied with a nod. “Uh, see you tomorrow,” he added.

“Yeah.”

They stood there for a moment before Karkat walked into the apartment building and Dave turned to go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as always thanks for reading and comments/kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> if any of you live near atlanta i'm going to dragoncon you should totally look for me even though you have no idea what i look like
> 
> #steve2k15


End file.
